• Me: Happy birthday!
  • Girl at the bar: It's not my birthday.
  • Me: Oh, sorry. I'll give this gift to someone else then.
  • Girl at the bar: ...What gift?
  • Me: My phone number.
(Reblogged from p-imp)

n0t-quite-n0rmal:

deansass:

my teacher sent a student home today because the student had had an anxiety attack earlier in the morning and she said “if you have a broken bone, you don’t just keep walking on it and damaging it more, you treat it. Your mental health is the same. Health then school.” 

I was about to get really angry but it took a different turn than I expected
we really need more teachers like this 
(Reblogged from cutslicedie)

p-imp:

need a fuck buddy/boyfriend/boy in my life

any volunteers plz ill accept all ur applications

(Reblogged from p-imp)

padfootvioletstilinski:

When Teachers have the last laugh

(Reblogged from pagingme)

(Source: 2francos)

(Reblogged from pagingme)

urbancatfitters:

hyperbole is my favorite literary device i use it like 600 times a day

(Source: urbancatfitters)

(Reblogged from pagingme)

why am i only motivated to sort my life out at 4am

(Source: telapathetic)

(Reblogged from pagingme)

legendxofxzach:

When life decides things are going too well for you

image

(Reblogged from pagingme)

worship-the-emenator-because-she:

sluttytobias:

sluttytobias:

what did earth say to the other planets?

wow. you guys have no life.

oh my god

(Source: hotpuppies)

(Reblogged from mirandawrongs)

This is what I love about Winter. You wake up in the middle of the night, maybe just to pee or get water or something, look out the window and see this. It’s so beautiful. And it’s silent; you have no idea that it’s happening until you just look. It almost seems fake. And it makes your bed seem way more comfortable, for whatever reason.

This is what I love about Winter. You wake up in the middle of the night, maybe just to pee or get water or something, look out the window and see this. It’s so beautiful. And it’s silent; you have no idea that it’s happening until you just look. It almost seems fake. And it makes your bed seem way more comfortable, for whatever reason.

(Reblogged from mirandawrongs)